Most people blog as an outlet to get things out there...to vent, to share projects, to share special moments, memories, frustrations, all kinds of things. This has pretty much turned into a pregnancy/baby blog, so I apologize to any of my readers that don't enjoy that as much, but hey - that's my life these days!
I wanted to do a happy venting post...if that makes sense at all.....
.....if not, I blame it on the pregnancy (as I do everything else).
My life is by no means perfect.
At any given time there is food stuck to my counter that I can't see because it blends in with the granite...or I am just lazy.
My floors are in constant need of sweeping.
My daughter throws tantrums...that sometimes entail her yelling at me.....or even throwing things (gasp!).
My husband and I argue over silly things that sometimes turns into rather large & silly fights.
I pine over things I can't have.
I wish I could do more things at one time.....all the time.
I complain about being 8 months pregnant on the reg.
There is a throw-all spot in our house that I would die if people saw.
I depend on my parents a lot. Like more than a 31 year old probably should.
My nails are a hot mess....all the time.
I'm constantly counting pennies - I get buyers remorse pretty easily.
There is always laundry to be done. Always.
I let things get too me that I shouldn't.
I take myself more seriously more than I should.
I complain about having a job.
My point to all of that is even when I am down or sad or beating myself up or beating The Hubby up, I need to continuously remind myself that I am a very blessed a lucky lady.
I dropped my little girl off at her first MDO this morning and it wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be.
She warmed up to the teachers and the toys in about 38 seconds and I left without shedding a tear. I left there and called The Hubs to tell him about it and we chatted about how perfect she was, how blessed we were.
Then I had to call and send pictures to him and both sets of grandparents.
Everyone saying the same things as me and The Hubs.
For some reason all of this has sent me down a pregnancy/hormonal/gratefulness/happy/nostalgic road.
I get to work and look at the pics I posted of the little monkey this morning and all the sweet comments from friends and family....which then I some how end up watching the video from E's first birthday....I may have teared a bit (damn pregnancy hormones).
And I can't help but realize how unbelievably lucky I am to have been blessed with that little angel as my daughter.
And her Daddy as my partner in all of this.
I get so sentimental thinking about the relationship the two of them have and how it was instant for him, I hope she understands one day how very very special that is.
And I can't help but realize this is my life now.
I am about to have our 2nd little angel and my role in this world will be to be their Mom.
I feel like I wear a lot of hats these days, I try too many sometimes.
That is something I need to change.
My focus needs to be on my girls.
And all about my girls.....oh, and my hubby too! :)
I am so lucky to have the people in my life that I do.
When you get to be my age, you start to surround yourself with only the people that make you better. Not the people that bring you down.
I lay in bed every night and thank the Big Man Upstairs for My Daughters, My Husband, My best friends, My Parents, My In-Laws, and the roof over our heads, the food in our bellies, and the love in our hearts (me and E say that part every night too! :)).
But I truly mean it.
I am beyond lucky and blessed.
We have so many amazing people in our lives that do so much for us.
That truly care about us.
That would do anything for us.
That help shape our lives into the awesomeness that it is.
So what if I have an empty dinning room, my bffs will come over and eat on the floor. And bring vino and dessert! And help clean!
So what if that clean laundry has been sitting in the hamper for 3 days, we made a block tower just to knock it down with E!
So what we can't go out to dinner because of the kid(s), we have our parents over and cook for them...and see them the happiest they can possibly be playing with E!
So what if I am late to work, I got an extra 15 minutes of cuddle time with E.
So what if I had to work that extra couple hours, that means I can provide more for E.