...then pump for 30-45mins.
...then pump for 30-45mins.
Clean pump parts and bottles and
seal, label, and store pumped milk.
Do chores for 30-40 minutes....
This went on for months. The pain never getting better.
I guess it was somewhere in the 3rd or 4th week I got my first round of Mastitis.
Yes, you read that correctly, first round.
Went away for about 10 days....and came back.
Ladies, I didn't know much about Mastitis before hand...and why would I? But holy crap, IT SUCKS!
It is an infection of a blocked duct. Your boob gets rock hard and even the touch of my arm rubbing against it was excruciating. I would try and raise my arms and cry.
At this point both my Momma and My Hubby told me to stop.
They said I was torturing myself.
It wasn't worth it for me to be in pain all the time.
It was such a good feeling to hear that...that they supported me if I did decided to stop.
But of course, that guilt of a new mom is stronger than anything else.
I couldn't do it. I felt selfish.
I can do this. At least until I go back to work. I can do this.
And while it got a bit easier, mainly because I was staring to get used to the routine, it controlled my life.
She was sleeping through the night at 2 weeks, but I still had to get up to pump.
Any outing I did had to be in a 2-3 hour window as I HAD to pump.
If we went anywhere for longer I had to lug her diaper bag and the pump bag and a cooler for the milk.
If we had guests, I would be stuck in our bedroom attached to the wall.
It wasn't easy by any means, but I was so happy she was getting it.
Then, the devil, that is Mastitis came back.
And with every time I had it it lessened my supply.
I was pumping the same amount of time, but get only about half the supply.
And she was eating more and more.
I was fighting a losing battle.
This time I got an antibiotic for it and an antibiotic to dry me up.
It was time.
I had pumped for almost 3 months and she had enough milk to get her to almost 4.
And ladies, other than creating/birthing her, I think that is my biggest accomplishment.
Clearly I didn't have the best experience with breastfeeding.
I wanted to make it work so badly and was willing to do whatever I could to make it work.
Honestly, I don't think I will the next round.
I will try again. If he/she latches and it works, awesome.
If not. I don't think I can solely pump again.
Just the thought of the sound of that pump makes me cringe and want to cry.
The day I zipped that sucker up and stored it in the basement was one of the best of my life!
I actually look forward to the day that I can take it into a field and beat it "Office Space" style. :)
All this being said, I have a few friends that had amazing experiences with breastfeeding.
They were able to do it until their little one was a year.
It never hurt (at least past the first month), it never controlled their life, it just worked.
And it was one of the best experiences of their life!
Breastfeeding is a beautiful and natural thing and if it works, it is a blessing.
I hope that is the case for my next little one.
But if it doesn't....you are not alone.
Lots of moms have to stop....whether it is their choice or their body's choice.
That doesn't make you a bad mom or mean that you don't love your baby.
And while it is easy for me to say, I have been there and I know that guilt.
But from one Mom to another, I support you! :)
Here is my almost 10 month old, healthy and growing like a weed!
I mean look at those chunky little arms! I die!
Enfamil is a good thing. HA!
Okay, that was a lot!
I hope this helps some of you Mommas or soon-to-be Mommas out there.
And please, feel free to ask me any questions....clearly I am an open book!! :)
Good luck to you all!! :)