Monday, August 6, 2012

The moment I realized I was "that mom"

I was checking the mail the other day and got a big envelope...I don't know abut you ladies but I always get excited when I get mail that isn't bills or someone else telling me I have been pre-approved for a credit card....so I grabbed it first and it was the welcome pack for E's school! 
And let me just say how lucky we are to have E in this school. It is actually the children's school at our church, which come to find out is one of the best in Nashville and has a year long waiting list! We had no idea, and because we were members we got right in! Thank you Lord above!! :) I feel so good about her being there 3 days a week and I am excited for her to start making friends! :)

Okay, back to the point of my story....I got all excited and started reading through it, stuff about orientation, lots of paperwork to fill out, supply list, teacher bios...still excited while reading all of this....and then I got to the daily schedule....
It had what they would be doing throughout the day....feeding schedules based on what we told them - this got me a little short of breath...and then I read about them playing with blocks.....
Ladies, I don't know what or why that did it to me but I just started crying....and the worst part, I had JUST done my make-up, which rarely happens during the week, ha!
There I was sobbing on the couch and staring at my little princess - I tried to call The Hubs, no answer, so I called mom....which of course made me cry even more. 
I was crying for a few reasons...
1. This sweet tiny little baby I have will be sitting up on her own and picking up blocks in a very short time! I am not ready for her to grow that fast...but then again, I can't wait!
2. If she goes to school that means I have to go back to work...which means I have to go back to reality...this little bubble E and I live in is going to pop.
3. I have to go back to work. 
4. Someone else might see something for the first time...I am getting choked up just thinking about it...

The Hubs and I always said that I would go back to work for a couple years, something I have been okay with. Even If I didn't work I would want her to go to some sort of school to become acclimated to other people, children, you know get those social skills and at early age - some I strongly believe in. I have always said once baby number 2 comes I will stop working, but as long as I can help provide for our family and build up our savings I am going to do it. And there is a big part of me that is excited to get back...you know have adult interaction on a daily basis, get in real clothes everyday, get excited about getting that big account, happy hour! (HA!)....but the thought of only seeing her from 5 until bedtime breaks my heart. 

So as I am crying on the couch, mom reassuring me this is all normal and that she will be fine and happy! I am nodding, agreeing that this will be hard on me....but not on her at all! She will be perfectly happy and busy learning new things and making new friends!

So there you have it...I am that mom...I will cry and the drop of a hat and worry like no other....and I have no doubt that it will only get worse! It's crazy how much more I understand my momma! :)

Any of you new mommas go through this stuff? Or any of you working moms have advice for me?!




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10 comments:

Melissa88Senick said...

Aww...I felt the same way when I had to go back to school and SM started school. SM goes to a good Christian school too and she just loves it. I means she loves it so much that she doesn't want to leave. She has never cried when I have dropped her off in over the year that we've been there. And she has never accomplished one of her milestones there first. They have all happened in the compounds of our home and then at school. You guys will be fine and it sounds like she is in a really good school so that is so important too.

Courtney B said...

Oh I am totally that mom and my baby isn't even born yet!! Totally normal (I hope!) It just shows how much you love your precious, little girl!! :)

Amy Silver said...

I guess I don't have any advice, since I do stay at home.. But I do understand! It's so hard to be away from then for any length of time! You'll do great though! The bank account would be great motivation ;-)

Joey and Kristin Lindley said...

Hudson Lindley is 10 months old and I still cry at the drop of a hat. I think about where he is now (such a big boy) and get really emotional. I've always been the emotional type, but after I had him, it just got worse! You always want to be at home spending time with them, but you're time away from her will give you that adult time you need and it will make you a better mommy :)

Danielle said...

The first week is definitely the hardest. You'll probably cry - a lot! I did anyway! But then you will get into a routine, and you will slowly get used to your new normal. You will still miss her like crazy, but knowing she's at a good school definitely helps! My little man seems to really be thriving and learning so much at school already just by watching the other babies. And he always has the biggest smile on his face when I pick him up, which just melts my heart!

Melissa said...

Since I had Keagan back in December, I had to go back in February and finish out the school year. It was tough to leave him! I remember telling my sister-in-law that if he did something for her I hadn't seen to just not tell me so I thought I saw him first do it. It drove me crazy to know I'd miss those firsts!
Now that I've had all summer with him, I know it's going to be even harder when I go back in a few weeks, especially with how much he's already grown and all of the personality he suddenly has! It is great to be able to pick them up in the afternoon and see that cute little smile on their face!

The Dalton Gang

Ashlee Christopher said...

Awesome blog so happy I found it it is darling!! Thank you for sharing :)

Ash @ ABpetite.blogspot.com/
xox

honeydos said...

I go back next week... I cry randomly when I think about it. I'm excited/dreading it, ready/not ready and totally nervous! Everywhere I read says the first week is the hardest so hopefully it'll be better after that!

Megan said...

I was SUPER emo before having Olivia and I am the sappiest sap EVER now as well! haha

As for returning to work, it will be hard but I did a couple things that "helped," I washed my work clothes in Liv's detergent so that I could always smell her (weird, but it helped), I kept the same scent of hand sanitizer we had on Liv's changing table, I had Jer and my baby sitter text me pics and videos through out the day, and on my lunch break I would call home to "talk" to her haha

I had decided to go back to work because I loved bringing in income and thought it would be good for me! NBefore I was working ft about a 45 min-1 hour drive to work. Now I work pt and a couple blocks away from home and it isn't NEARLY as hard. I am happy with my decision and I know it was the right decision for my family!

Rebecca O said...

It is crazy how much more you appreciate your mom when you have those moments!! I am new here! and I am loving your blog! Rebecca @ roffenkr.blogspot.com