Thursday, July 28, 2011

Only I could do this to myself....

Okay, I have caught myself doing some pretty absurd things to myself...so I thought I would share to see if anyone else does these things or to at least give you a good laugh on this lovely Thursday....

First off, and this is so random so I am sure I am the only person in the world that has done this.............twice.
See that bag....have you ever gotten one stuck to the bottom of your car?...and by bottom of your car I mean melted to the bottom of your engine. No? No one? 
Well it sucks...it smells like burnt crayons. 
All the time. 
So, I somehow did this about 3 months ago, the hubs and I kept smelling it and couldn't figure out what the hell it was. He got up under the car and saw one of these pretty little bags all stuck and melted. 
Awesome. 
So finally it melted away and my car didn't smell anymore, YAY! 
Well, if you remember I said twice.....yes, I did it again last week....really?!?!? Really?!??! At least this time I saw it coming...I  saw it and tried to switch lanes and couldn't thanks to a massive truck....so, I went over it. And I just kept hoping I would see it in my rear view mirror...no such luck. So, my little Altima is a stinky crayon again. 
Awesome.


Staying with my little Altima.....
See the expiration date of my tags? No? Well it says March....wanna know when I got them renewed? After I got a ticket in June. Yeah, June. The cop pulled me over on my way home from the lady doctor and I was also sick with bronchitis and a sinus infection....good day....he pretty much just laughed at me. "March, really?!? I normally let people go with a warning on tags, but I just can't with you." He was so hot too...I have never seen a really hot cop...but he was...and I was mortified. And sick. I the proceeded to call the hubs crying because he had been telling me to get it renewed for 3 months. He also laughed at me. 
I then had to go show that I got them renewed so it would be taken off my record....well there is NO parking by that building downtown so I had to walk about 2 miles...in heels and a pencil skirt....in 105/feels like 112 degree weather. I was a miserable hot mess (literally) and $70 broker. Boo.


Next up, the lovely snooze button...
Yes, I am that person who sets the alarm for 6:15 just so I can hit snooze at least 3 times...the hubs HATES it. And I mean HATES it. I think he lectures me every 4 days....
And the worst part....because of that lovely snooze button I am almost always running late for work. I am running out the door with breakfast wrapped in a paper towel and putting on earrings as I am kissing the pups goodbye and tripping over my heels on the way out the door. AND THEN, I am driving like a bat out of hell with road rage....then I get to work...and I am pooped! Why do I do this?!?! Why can't I just get out of bed like a grown up?!?!


Next....I have a permanent bump on the back of my head from emptying the dishwasher. I have made you a diagram....
See the dishwasher? I stand between that and the microwave....see the devil cabinet? I put tupperware or bowls or whatever up there and leave it open for the next thing....then stand up and bang the back of my head on it. Every time. Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I learn?? Either A) close the door or B) watch your effin head! Only me.


Keeping with the kitchen....why don't I use oven mitts?
 I have some really cute ones....but no, I decide to use the dish towel that is hanging on the oven or already in my hand....and I either burn myself through the towel...or the towel is long enough...or I hit the top of the oven. Use an oven mitt. They are amazing things!


So these are just a few of the awesome things I do to myself on a regular basis....please tell me that some of you do at least one of these things....or just laugh, everyone needs a good laugh! :)

7 comments:

Beth McC. said...

That shirt made me lol!!!

Amy said...

I set my alarm early, just so I can hit the snooze button too and I am always running late as well. I wish I could just get out of bed like a grown up too. ☺

Brunette & Blessed said...

ouch that sounds painful. I'm with you on skipping the oven mits. I always use a towel too.

Mandy said...

oh man what a day you had with your car! I am dreading the same thing. Mine expires this month and I was waiting and waiting for the paper to come in the mail to do it like it did years ago with my last car and nothing. Finally I had to email someone and was able to renew online and now i'm waiting on my sticker. I'm so scared next month someone will pull me over. ahh. I do on the other hand press snooze everyday! my husband doesn't understand it. I've done it for years though. Hope you have some better days ahead of you.

Katie said...

We cant get up on time either - not for work or church, but everything else we seem to do ok. We have anywhere from 2-6 alarms set each day, and always sleep through them. We are always running horribly late, and we NEVER learn!

Mateya said...

Oh gosh this made me laugh! I usually am not a snoozer but lately I have been and I hate it because I am sooo rushed in the mornings!

Jessica said...

I definitely do the snooze thing EVERY morning, and Jason never *says* anything but I know it annoys the crap out of him because every once in a while he'll poke me or kinda push me and without a word I know he's saying "TURN OFF THAT EFFING ALARM BEFORE I KILL YOU."